St. John Chrysostom suggests that young husbands should say to their wives: I have taken you in my arms, and I love you, and I prefer you to my life itself. For the present life is nothing, and my most ardent dream is to spend it with you in such a way that we may be assured of not being separated in the life reserved for us.... I place your love above all things, and nothing would be more bitter or painful to me than to be of a different mind than you. (§ 2365 CCC)
We turn to people with extensive experience in a given field for great knowledge and expertise. Not so with love. It is not the people who have had lots of experience with relationships, nor is it necessarily people who have kept long-term relationships who know best about true love. The problem with the former is that the number of romantic relationships you've been in only shows the number of failures you've had with romance. The problem with the latter is that longevity does not necessarily make a healthy and happy relationship. We know couples who have been married for decades whose relationships are dysfunctional or are just plain unhappy.
Rather, it is those closest to God, the source of love, who truly understand true love. And whether they are married or not is of no relevance. Want a happy, lasting relationship? Work on knowing and loving God. Only He gives couples the grace they need to make love last. Only He can continually inspire love in our hearts when our emotions fail us. Love God, and loving others will follow. It is only when we abide by Him who is love, can we love truly and completely. To fail in this is to cut off oneself from the one source of love. That would make it extremely difficult to love fully. Because we cannot give what we cannot have.
Those who have God, have love. And they are the only ones who can give it.
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